Thursday, December 27, 2007

How to Be a Good Girlfriend

So, you've landed the guy of your dreams. Finding a great boyfriend is hard. Now that you've found him, make sure that you are a great girlfriend, so that you can make him happy and he can enjoy the relationship with you.



Steps

  • Be honest. While being honest to your mate is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you be honest to yourself. And, yes, in a mature relationship, honesty is the best policy.
  • Have a positive attitude. If everything you say around him is a criticism or an attack, he will not look forward to seeing you. However, you don't always have to agree with him just because he is your boyfriend. Tactfulness is a better strategy in mature relationships. No matter what, have a sense of humor. Have inside jokes together. Be spontaneous. Be happy.
  • Communicate regularly. Do not talk his ear off. However, make sure that if you have any problems that will affect your mood, he is made aware of the reasons for your problems and mood, so that you do not appear to merely be a fickle and cranky creature.
  • Make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with his. Acting like you exist solely to please him will get you no respect and may even make him bored with your company. Showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep him interested in getting to know and understand you as a person.
  • Be consistent. What exasperates men most in a relationship is having to go back and forth between moods, and having to tolerate irrationality.
  • Be patient. Don't automatically think he didn't hear you when you said something, maybe he was preoccupied. Don't jump to conclusions.
  • Accept the differences you have and learn to love them. Don't try to change each other - love one another for who each of you are.
  • Take an interest in his interests. You don't have to act like you love football, but at least try to understand why he's such a fan. Take an interest in his disinterests, too. He might be disinterested in what you like, so at least try to understand why he is not interested and respect it.
  • Buy him simple, unexpected gifts for no special reason once in a while. The thought is always appreciated and it makes the guy feel as if you really do care and love him. Some good gift ideas could be a new music CD he's been dying to get, a book or something else that he'll really like and will be surprised by. Guys like to be surprised with little gifts too.
  • Let him live his life. If you feel entitled to all of his time and attention, learn how to not be an obsessive girlfriend. Remember that he doesn't need you for everything and that you are separate people as well as a couple. When he needs some space, don't take it personally.
  • Remember to always be there when he needs a hug, or a kiss. Body contact is very important, and always warms up a relationship. But if he wants to do things you don't you absolutely have to tell him. If he cares about you, he will respect this!


Tips

  • Remember, it's better to give than to receive. The major religions got this right, and for a good reason: mysteriously, you gain more in the long run by giving than by getting. While love isn't all you need, it's the most important thing.
  • Keep in mind: the road will be difficult and he won't ask directions. As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself, and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of team work and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back.
  • Don't stop spending time with your girlfriends, they are necessary as to provide shoulders to cry on when you feel like your relationship is slipping away. If you and the boyfriend break up, they will still be there to say "We're here for you", so don't neglect them. Plus, spending some time apart will make him that much more glad to see you when you DO get together.
  • Dress sexy once in a while. Don't do this too often but surprise him now and then with a hot outfit, which you buy with your own money. Nothing pumps a man's ego more than knowing that he's got a pretty girl by his side.
  • If your boyfriend is acting Passive towards you when starting a new relationship (like not buying you stuff or not saying sweet things to you or not kissing you) it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you. It most likely means he is shy and has never been in a relationship before and just doesn't know how to act. To solve this problem you can talk to him about acting that way, perhaps he's expecting you to take more initiative because you have had more experience with relationships than he has.
  • Avoid having a "one track" relationship in which the bond revolves around one thing. Keep your relationship strong by bringing variety and diversity into the relationship. Try different and new things together. Relationships are about having fun together, learning together and growing together.
  • Forgive him. Guys mess up a lot, it's just the way they are. Learn to forgive and forget, and that's when your relationship will truly blossom.
  • If he says he loves you more, argue over that! It's a simple way of flirting with him. It'll prove that you really do love him.


Warnings

  • Don't cheat,this will surely cause him to break it off with you,or in the least create major trust issues for the future.
  • Like Stacey's point in Eastenders, if you ever feel like cheating, remember: when you're older and wiser, you won't be thinking about some one night stand with a random guy from a pub/club, you'll remember your sweet boyfriend who's always been there for you.
  • Also, don't cheat or him expecting that it will cause him to pay more attention to you. He'll just dump you.
  • If you have already cheated on your boyfriend, tell him before he finds out later from someone else.
  • Don't conduct "secret tests" on your boyfriend to see what he'll do. It's humiliating, disrespectful and unfair, and you wouldn't want him to do that to you.
  • It's fine to share things with your girlfriends when talking about him, but remember to be respectful of him by not sharing things that are embarrassing, confidential or rude. (Don't kiss and tell!) You can keep your girlfriends "updated" on how the relationship is going, but keep them from getting involved in your relationship, unless abuse or other dangerous activities are taking place (which are never your fault), in which case tell them everything.
  • Don't be clingy!
  • Jealousy is a very dangerous thing. Don't make anyone jealous in your relationship. That will result with a lot of problems and difficulties within your relationship.